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The Art of Being Unmessablewith

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Retain, Revise or Retire Your Goals

Hey Reader, Many of us set goals at the beginning of the year, such as going to the gym, increasing our business, reducing our expenses, or finding true love. It is helpful to periodically check on our progress and see where we are and where we're heading. The method I use is to assess each goal in relation to reality, which involves the following steps: Determine the results produced so far in this goal area. For example, if my goal was to lose 20lbs this year, how much weight have I lost?...

Hey Reader, Recently I was working with one of my one on one coaching clients and he was talking about how complex certain areas he was dealing with were. After a bit of conversation, we saw that the area itself was not complex but rather he liked having things be complicated so he could exercise his brain. It can be rewarding to have things be complicated puzzles to figure out so that you have a sense of intellectual accomplishment. However, what is it costing? One thing we saw together is...

Hey Reader, It may sound strange to have a "relationship performance review", I mean that sounds like a work thing not a relationship thing. Well, any area of your life that you want to be EXCELLENT, could be a great place to look at what is working, or what is missing that would elevate that area, so why not your relationship? Below is a recent interview I did for ABC news on the subject. (just click on the photo of my husband Michael and I) If you want to experiment with a relationship...

Hey Reader, When I coach people, many times they want to create a new practice or a new behavior and the question is where do I start? I advise people to begin with promises, promises can be a very powerful tool to create a future that was not going to happen anyway. When you think about it, when you make a promise, it is almost as if you are casting out into the future a new reality, one that was not predictable. You do not need to promise to breathe or to wake up tomorrow, likely those...

Hey Reader, I just got back from spending a week in my happy place, Paris France. The minute I get off the plane I start to breathe better and my sense of calm and at-home-ness shifts to a totally different level. I began to inquire into a question. What is it about Paris that makes me so happy? At first I couldn’t put my finger on it but then I stuck with the inquiry and came up with a few things. I am in the space of being settled I am present to appreciation I have a sense of tranquility...

Hey Reader, Most of us have seen the film The Wizard Of Oz, if you have not seen it SEE IT it's amazing! There are many references in that film to life but one of the most profound one's for me is "there's no place like home". This has special meaning to me as I explicate in the short clip below from an interview I recently did with Dr. Cynthia Whitley on her podcast, "Be Aware". It is so easy to get caught up in "going through life" and we miss some of the most precious moments right now....

Hey Reader, Have you ever felt burned out at work? Do you feel burned out NOW? Well take a look at this short video to support you in dealing with JOB BURNOUT, these tips work for me and I know they will support you! (or someone you know) Follow me on Instagram

Hey Reader, Shoulds and shouldn'ts are one of the biggest sources of dis-ease and suffering that I have found as I work with people in developing their ability to be unmessablewith. In reality there are no should's and shouldn'ts. WE as human beings add shoulds and shouldn'ts to our view of what is happening, to our view of other people and to our view of ourselves. He should be different, this should be easier, I shouldn't be so xyz etc... Whenever you engage in a conversation that something...

Hey Reader, kryp·ton·ite (krĭp′tə-nīt′)n.SlangSomething that presents a particular threat to 'one that is otherwise powerful': In this case YOU ARE THE ONE! You are the ONE that is powerful. Superman had super powers, including the powers of flight, superhuman strength, x-ray vision, heat vision, cold breath, super-speed, enhanced hearing, and nigh-invulnerability (which means it is almost impossible to injure him in any serious way and yes I had to look that up). Even with all that power he...

Hey Reader, DO OVER WITH CORRECT LINK Many people get stuck in a relationship to language where they use it to describe what is happening. Either describing what is happening in their circumstances, like my job is difficult or my apartment is messy. Describing what is happening in their relationships like: he is being a jerk, she is ignoring me, they are ungrateful. Describing what is happening internally like I feel sad, I am exhausted, I am frustrated. While using language to describe is...